Coin Toss
by Kalta79
Summary: Reno and Rude work on 'public relations' to restore the Turks' good name. Having trouble uploading new chapters here, so check it out on AO3 please.
1. Chapter 1

"Why are we even doing this?" Rude wondered as Reno fished in his pocked for a coin.

"Because Tseng ordered us to have better relations with the public to give the Turks a more positive image." Reno replied.

"Flipping a coin to see which of us will ask Tifa out on a date is not what I think he meant." Rude muttered.

"Oh don't be such a downer. I'm second-in-command and I say this is exactly what Tseng meant." Reno picked out a coin and handed it to Rude so he could verify it wasn't a trick coin. "Tell you what, we'll make it more interesting. Whoever doesn't get Tifa has to ask Yuffie out. It'll be a double date." Reno took the coin back from Rude and flipped it in the air.

"Heads!" Rude called out as Reno exclaimed, "Tails!"

When the coin landed on the ground, Reno and Rude bumped heads trying to see who won, and fell to the ground as well, momentarily stunned. Before they recovered, a flying monkey squirrel landed between them and grabbed the coin before taking off again.

"I'm not doing this again." Rude said when he stood up.

"Fine, you spoilsport. But since we bumped heads, you win and get to ask Tifa, I'll take Yuffie." Reno said as he brushed leaves out of his hair. He had just gotten sense knocked into him. Tifa might be more attractive to him than Yuffie, but Tifa was more the candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach type, and that would suit Rude better. Yuffie was much more energetic and he would most likely have better luck scoring with her, and with her flexibility, he'd enjoy it more. Plus he had bet he'd win by getting some tail anyway.

"Where should we take them?" Rude asked.

Reno took another coin out of his pocket. "Heads, it's Golden Saucer. Tails, the Big Apple."


	2. Chapter 2

Reno looked around as they arrived at their destination for their double date. Why did he even suggest this place? It's nothing like Elena had mentioned it being like…he'd have to have a talk with her after this. Yuffie came up behind him with a similar expression of distaste. Tifa wasted no time pulling Rude over to the mini-putt area, wanting him to show her his stuff.

"This is a great place for a date, if you're five." Yuffie said with distaste.

Reno couldn't really disagree with that, but he had picked the place, so he didn't want to second-guess himself. "You're short enough for people to think you're five." he blurted out to Yuffie before he could stop himself.

"You're one to talk, I bet the reason you come here is cause the farmers for all the apple orchards want to use you as a scarecrow!" Yuffie snapped back angrily.

Reno sighed. He had that coming, but this date was not going the way he had planned. "You want something to eat?" he asked her, trying to get things back on track.

"I'm not much on apples." Yuffie replied. "Is that all this place has to offer?"

Reno grabbed a pamphlet from the stand next to him. "There's a restaurant here that has regular food. It's called the Smokehouse Kitchen."

"Fine…where?" Yuffie asked.

"We go that way." Reno said, pointing. "Hey, there's a wishing fountain!" He changed course to stop there for a moment, tossing in the coin he flipped to end up here on their date.

"What'd you wish for?" Yuffie wondered out loud, as she grabbed a coin out of her pocket and threw it behind her back into the fountain as well, hoping Reno didn't notice.

"Can't tell ya, otherwise it won't come true, sorry." Reno said pompously, to which Yuffie rolled her eyes. Neither of them wanted to admit they both wished for the other to end up naked on this so-called date.

They got in line at the Smokehouse Kitchen, both studying the menu. "Don't worry about the prices, I can afford anything you want." Reno said to Yuffie.

"That's sweet, but I'm not interested in anything bought with blood money. I can pay for myself, okay?" Yuffie informed him.

"Suit yourself." Reno replied as they got to the front of the line. "I'll take an order of chicken legs and ribs. This little lady is paying for herself." Reno explained to the employee taking his order as he handed her the company credit card. If this date was P.R. for the Turks, it was a business expense. As he waited for his food and for Yuffie's, he wondered how Rude and Tifa's date was going.


	3. Chapter 3

"How'd you do that?" Tifa asked Rude as he sunk yet another hole in one.

"Here, I'll show you." Rude smiled as he positioned himself behind Tifa, wrapping his arms around her to show her how to hit the ball correctly.

Tifa wanted to complain that he was getting too fresh with her, until he helped her get her first hole in one. Then she realized it had just been too long since she had a real date, and she was a bit sensitive about it all. Besides, Rude was quite attractive, and based on what she could feel of him, he was quite fit and firm. Watching him take his next swing, she also realized she was starting to get thoughts that made her want to blush, from watching a hot man in action.

"Do you need me to show you what to do again?" Rude asked her, and Tifa felt her face burn over what she almost said in response.

"I'll do my best." Tifa said, and even she didn't recognize her own voice. She was so flustered she kept missing the ball, and eventually Rude ignored her protests and when he went to touch her, she felt herself shiver.

"Oh, you're cold, that's probably what's messing you up. Here, this should help." Rude took off his jacket and wrapped it around Tifa, and she took a deep breath and pretended the golf ball was Sephiroth, and she hit the ball so hard it broke the beaver.

"Um, would you mind if we went to the petting zoo now?" Tifa asked. She needed to surround herself with cute fluffiness to feel like herself again.

"Okay, sure." Rude offered his arm to Tifa, and she reluctantly took it.

"Oh, look at the baby chocobos!" Tifa exclaimed, rushing over to them. "Don't they just make you want to have lots of babies?" she asked Rude as she picked one up and cuddled it.

Now Rude felt his cheeks burn and he felt like a deer caught in the headlights as Tifa looked at him. Babies were usually not mentioned until at least the third date, hopefully much later. Tifa did look pretty with the little chocobo, though of course she was naturally pretty, it had nothing to do with the little ball of yellow feathers she held.

"I can't have babies." Rude heard himself reply.

Tifa gave him a strange look. "I kinda figured that." she said as she put the baby chocobo down and moved onto the other animals in the petting zoo.

"What animal is your favorite?" Rude asked, trying to get some normal conversation going.

"All of them." Tifa replied. "I like all animals, it comes from growing up in the country. Where did you grow up?" Tifa realized she really didn't know anything about the man who had convinced her to go on a double date with him, by seeming to be attacked by a fit of shyness when he tried to ask her.

"I…um, that is…I can't discuss that, it's classified." Rude offered as an explanation. "But it wasn't the country or the city, I can say that much."

"What can you discuss?" Tifa persisted.

"Um, I don't like mushrooms, I love waffles, and I'm not a big sports fan." Rude answered.

"Now I'm getting hungry…" Tifa said as she could feel her stomach wanting to start growling.

"Oh, there's a nice place to eat here…I think." Rude said, finding a map and leading Tifa in the right direction.


	4. Chapter 4

Reno waited for Yuffie's order of a smoked chicken wrap to be done to her satisfaction as his meal started to get cold, but that didn't bother him so much, he was used to eating cold leftovers whenever he was home long enough to eat there. It was Yuffie's primadonna/diva attitude that was bothering him. She had left behind her social position in Wutai when she left home, but she took the attitude with her.

"Why are you eating those things?" Yuffie asked as they finally both sat down at a free table.

"Well, your legs do look better, but I'm not a cannibal." Reno said as he negligently tossed the bone successfully into the trash can a few yards away, then grabbed another chicken leg drowned in barbecue sauce.

Yuffie couldn't think of a response to that. She freely admitted that Reno was quite attractive, but watching him trying to gorge himself on ribs and legs wasn't exactly appealing. She daintily bit into her wrap, and then his phone rang.

Reno wiped his hands off before grabbing his phone. "Is this important? I'm doing what you wanted me to do, I'm doing P.R. for us. Is he on ice? Then I have time to finish my lunch. See ya soon, Boss Man!" Reno hung up the phone and tried to get back to his meal.

"What did you mean, P.R.? Is that what this 'date' is?" Yuffie demanded angrily.

"Uh, not exactly." Reno realized too late he was now in big trouble.

"What do you mean, not exactly?" she persisted.

"Can we just finish eating?" Reno pleaded.

"Eat this!" Yuffie went to throw what was left of her wrap at him, but he easily ducked, and she hit a mother and father there with their kids a few tables down.

"You've got a good arm, too." Reno said complimentarily.

The parents turned to spot the troublemaker, but they couldn't see Yuffie, because she was shielded from their view, courtesy of Reno's taller figure. So the parents just threw their coleslaw at Reno, who shrieked in dismay at having his hair messed up.

" **FOOD FIGHT**!" someone yelled.

Rude and Tifa were looking at the Country Kitchen menu, trying to decide what to order.

"I think I'll go with the smoked chicken and pesto panini." Rude decided. "It looks almost gourmet."

Tifa turned her head to look up at him. "You really like food, don't you? Do you cook?"

"I'm not home enough to cook." Rude said regretfully. "Do you know what you want yet?"

"I'm thinking of the toasted Western with apple fries as a side. It'll remind me of home." Tifa said, just as two employees rushed in.

"Food fight in the Smokehouse Kitchen! Where's security?" they yelled to their coworkers.

"Reno!" "Yuffie!" Rude and Tifa exclaimed together, knowing who had to be responsible, and they left their place in line to hurry over to the Smokehouse Kitchen.

When Rude and Tifa arrived at the Smokehouse Kitchen, Reno and Yuffie were being escorted out of the building by security guards, covered in barbecue sauce and coleslaw.

"What did you do?!" Rude and Tifa snapped at Reno and Yuffie.

"Are these yours?" The head of security asked them, and Rude and Tifa reluctantly nodded.

"They're no longer welcome here at the Big Apple." he said as they got an armed escort to the entrance. "Have a nice day."

"You two are not getting in my car like that!" Tifa exclaimed as they stood in the parking lot, trying to figure out what to do.

"I'll take care of him, you can take care of your friend." Rude said, and started to walk off with a sullen messy Reno.

"This was nothing but a public relations stunt for the Turks." Yuffie complained to Tifa.

"Is that so?" Tifa mused, then ran over to Rude and kissed him on the cheek. "Call me!" she exclaimed before hurrying back to Yuffie.

"Why did you do that?" Yuffie testily asked as Tifa got the jug of tap water out of her car that she kept for her radiator and poured it over Yuffie to rinse her off.

"It's just been too long since I've had good relations." Tifa replied with an odd smile.


End file.
